Krampus Day
by SereneQuill
Summary: Find out what the hell a Krampus is, Nathan ordered, his eyes narrowing. So help me if this ends with me in a reindeer suit... Jack/Nathan slash.


Title: Krampus Day

Pairing: Jack/Nathan

Rating: PG

Word Count: 4200

Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowed them to play with! The poetry belongs to Constantine P Cavafry, and Eureka belongs to NBC, the fabulous Jamie Paglia and Andrew Cosby, etc.

Warnings: fluffy holiday humor fic, set somewhere in the nebulous "season 3" zone.

A/N: Because Krampus has been declared the "it" fashion of Christmas where I work, I had to do some sort of fic involving the concept. Krampus Day is something I've only gotten acquainted with this year, so I'm borrowing traditions right and left, and probably bastardized a few!

The meeting was ending with Jack having only been hopelessly lost twice, having gotten one good insult in on Nathan, putting him down four for the day. Not too bad in the long run, he decided, rising with a trace of a smile on his lips.

"Oh, and I want one of you two to play Santa for the Eureka Holiday Party," Allison added, and Jack cursed, the scales tipping away from good toward disaster. She elegantly rose and started for the door, pausing at the exit. "I'm not going to get in the middle of it, you two decide."

"I'm busy," Nathan grumped, and Jack snorted.

"I'm just as busy, usually cleaning up after your busy-ness." Jack retorted. Allison chuckled, stopping and transforming it into a cough as she realized she would likely only encourage them.

"You're the sheriff."

"You already have the beard."

"Kids like you."

Jack opened his mouth to retort, and stopped, nodding. "Fine, I've got a great solution," he said, grinning wickedly. Allison looked wary, Nathan noticed, making him sit up a little straighter. "I'll play St. Nick," Jack announced.

Nathan sat back, grinning to himself. "I like this plan."

Jack's mischievous look hadn't wavered one iota though. Nathan tensed, sensing this wasn't going to end well from him. "And Nathan can play Krampus."

"Oh, good!" Allison agreed, brightening. "I'll let Vince know." Before Nathan could protest, Allison vanished into the hall.

"Hey, wait!" he protested, stopping Jack with one foot out the door. "What's a Krampus?"

Nathan regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. "You don't know?" Jack whooped, his boyish face lighting up. "You really don't know something I do?" He pumped the air, victorious. "Hit the internet, Stark." And with that, he ducked out, the scale firmly planted in the good position for the rest of the day.

Nathan scowled, hitting the call button on his desk. "Fargo, get in here."

He waited, drumming his fingers on his desk until Fargo hesitantly poked his head in the door. "Find out what the hell a Krampus is," he ordered, his eyes narrowing. "So help me if this ends with me in a reindeer suit…"

Fargo looked up from his PDA, a smirk clearly aching to burst across the scientist's face. "I, uh, don't think you have to worry about that," Fargo said, his voice wavering under the strain of containing his laughter. "This was Sheriff Carter's idea, I take it?"

"Just read it to me," Nathan snapped, suddenly certain the joke was on him.

"Krampus is the alter-ego to Santa Claus," Fargo read. "Also known as Black Peter, he's a horned demon who frightens children, leaves the lumps of coal, and beats the really bad ones while Santa gives rewards to the good children."

"Figures," Nathan mused, a fragment of unimportant information stirring in his memory. "Thank you, Fargo."

"There's also a section about children in Austria—"

"That's all I need, Fargo," Nathan cut him off, feeling a headache rising. He sighed, returning to his work.

When he left Global, Nathan found that Allison had taped a note to his car window to remind him to stop in and see Vince. He silently cursed everyone from Allison to Fargo to Jack, and then drove quickly over to Café Diem to face the certain embarrassment.

Vince looked up as Nathan entered, grinning widely. "Dr. Stark! That was a brilliant idea you and the Sheriff had! I hadn't had anyone remember Krampus Day since I was a kid."

"I'm going to need some coffee before I see what you're cooking up, aren't I?" Nathan guessed, and Vince nodded, grinning as he handed a mug over. "All right, I guess anything has to be better than Santa, right?"

"Oh, the Sheriff and I agreed to ditch the traditional pillow stuffed costume!" Vince enthused happily. "We're going for a classy old fashioned St. Nicolas, with long red robes!"

"Isn't it great?" a too cheerful voice behind Nathan interjected. Nathan nodded to the sheriff as he sat down next to Nathan, happily accepting a cup of coffee from Vince. "Finish your research?" he asked innocently, obviously enjoying Nathan's glare.

"Should have figured you'd cast me as the villain," Nathan observed, and Jack shrugged.

"Maybe I was just going for casting you as my lackey," Jack replied, swiveling his stool slightly so his legs bumped Nathan's. "Besides, no way was I letting you get out of this when I had to dress up."

"Okay, I've got everyone settled, let's get you two fitted," Vince replied, ushering them toward the back room. "Down to your under things, gentlemen."

"You just like making me strip," Jack groused, tugging his boots off.

"Double incentive with Dr. Stark here," Vince replied back teasingly.

Jack chuckled, "Good point."

Nathan blinked, startled by the sheriff's reaction. "I'm sorry?" he asked, his head reeling.

"I think you weirded him out," Vince observed, sounding impressed.

"I think that puts me on top twice today," Jack grinned at him, shrugging. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be back on top tomorrow."

Between Jack's very suggestive choice of words and the strip of tan skin revealed as Jack's undershirt rode up when he tugged his uniform off, Nathan's retort died on his tongue. He forced his eyes off the tempting sliver of skin and up to Jack's face, seeing the puzzlement and concern written clearly on the other man's face.

"You okay?" Jack inquired softly.

"Fine," Nathan deflected, clearing his throat. He sternly ordered his eyes off the sheriff's body, cursing his sudden interest as he tugged at his tie. He waited for Vince to finish taking Jack's measurements and the sheriff to start redressing before he started working on his own shirt.

"See you later, Vince, Stark," Jack departed cheerfully, whistling some inane pop Christmas hit that had always set Nathan's teeth on edge.

"Man can butcher Mariah like no one else," Vince chuckled, and Nathan managed to relax a little at the joke. Vince hummed a little, the same tune as Jack as he started taking Nathan's measurements. "And now he's gotten it stuck in my head too," he complained.

"You get it stuck in my head and I send Fargo down here to butcher it even worse," Nathan threatened, but he was fighting a smile as he said it.

"So…" Vince asked, his voice taking on the distinctive tone it got when he sensed good gossip. "Are you looking to get the Sheriff under your tree this Christmas?"

"Excuse me?" Nathan asked, raising an eyebrow as Vince scanned his waist with the electric tape measure.

"That can't be the first time you've noticed how hot he is," Vince observed slyly. At the flush on Nathan's face, he chuckled. "A bit of advice though? If you decide to pursue him, you're going to need to slam it in his face. Subtle hints will go right over his head."

"No kidding?" Nathan retorted sarcastically, uncomfortable at how easily the other man had read him. "Generally I don't tilt at windmills."

"Oh, he's not totally straight," Vince replied confidently. "And no, I'm not relying on my instincts for that one. He told me when I made sure he was okay with me when he first took the job." Seeing Nathan's startled look, he added, "Well, I'm sure other people confuse the US Marshals with military. He set me straight… pun intended."

-

Jack whistled as he walked into the station, and Jo's head hit the desk. "For the love of God, whoever she is, just ask her out and stop whistling that song before I'm forced to put a bullet through your lips!"

Jack winced, then grinned. "Ouch, Jo. If you don't get into the holiday spirit, Krampus might bring you a lump of coal!"

"Mmm, if he looks like Stark, I can live with whatever he wants to bring me," Jo muttered under her breath, but Jack heard her.

"You know, you sort of dated his son, which makes your attraction to him a little creepy," Jack pointed out.

Jo raised an eyebrow, not fighting Carter's decision to refer to Callister as Nathan's son. "He isn't old enough to be my father, which is all that counts," she pointed out. "Besides, you can't deny he's attractive."

"Never did," Jack replied, pouring himself a cup of coffee and promptly burning his tongue as he sipped it. "I generally aim for targets I can hit, though," he added, settling in behind his desk. He pretended to read a report, but his mind wandered a bit, wishing he'd hung around to see Nathan strip down.

By the next day, Jo was threatening to staple his lips shut, and Zoë had tried to sneak him decaf instead of regular coffee, so he wisely steered clear of the station for the afternoon, running rounds for the second day in a row. Jo, for all her toughness and bluster, for some reason had a strict aversion to snow, preferring to stay inside on the rare occasions that it did snow in Eureka. The streets had thick layer built up, and now a light dusting was adding to the total. Jack noticed several children making a large stockpile of snowballs across the street, and smiled to himself before stepping into Café Diem to hit Vince up for some real coffee.

"Hey Vince, can you get me a to-go of coffee and a towel?" he asked, and Vince nodded. Jack took a moment to enjoy how easily the other man rolled with non-sequitor requests, letting the tips of his ears thaw in the warm cafe.

"Here you go," Vince told him cheerfully. "By the way, if you see Dr. Stark, make sure he hasn't killed Fargo. I accidentally got that Christmas song you were whistling stuck in his head, and I don't think Dr. Stark is a fan."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Jack replied dryly, picking up his coffee and pocketing the towel. "Thanks, Vince."

He made it about halfway down the block before he encountered Stark shaking off a large amount of snow. "Hey, Stark," he greeted the other man. "You fall down?"

"No, a bunch of brats attacked me with snowballs," Nathan grumbled, rubbing his fingers vigorously through his curls. Jack had the sudden urge to reach out and help, itching to get his fingers wrapped in Nathan's hair. "Apparently they figured out it's what the children in Austria do to drive Krampus away. Have I thanked you today for your special way of making my life hell?" he added grumpily, stopping short when Jack drew a towel out of his pocket and handed it over.

"You saw them plotting," Nathan accused, wiping off his face quickly.

"I suspected," Jack replied easily. "I'll go make sure to chase them off." He took the towel, wiping at a streak of snow in his beard Nathan had missed. "There," he said, suddenly finding it hard to breathe as he realized how close the rather intimate gesture had brought him. Nathan was searching his face, looking a little confused. Jack's cheeks suddenly flushed as their hands brushed when Nathan tried to take the towel.

"I'll give it back to Vince," Nathan managed to stammer at the same moment as Jack forced out a jumbled sentence that sounded like, "I should go find mad snowballers."

He walked back down to the station after sending the kids scattering, still lost in his confusion and trying to process his odd reactions to Stark. Jo looked up, her eyebrows shooting up. "Wow, Carter, who is she?"

"Huh?" Carter managed to eloquently ask.

"The woman you've fallen for," Jo replied, rolling her eyes. "The one who has you whistling and reduces your brain to total mush."

"Fallen for," Jack repeated, turning the idea over in his head. It surprisingly felt right to him. "Huh."

"You just going to leave me hanging?" Jo demanded, hands going to her hips. "Come on, ever since Callie left town, you've been morose. I'm thrilled you've found someone better. Who is it?"

"Ahh…" Jack tilted his head, deciding the truth would actually provide the most fun for messing with her. "Stark, actually." He headed back out the door.

"Very funny, Carter," Jo called after him, settling back down at her desk.

-

Nathan knocked lightly on the open door frame, nervously smiling as Allison beckoned him into her office. She was frowning at the phone, obviously displeased with whoever was on the other end. "I appreciate that, General, but I don't believe that will be necessary." He quickly tuned out the rest, relieved to be free of the bureaucracy that had once ruled his life. He walked over to the window, looking down at Fargo arguing vehemently with Larry. He wasn't sure what the content of the argument was, but he could see the ending coming. Taggart was not far away, and had begun lovingly stroking the dart gun in his hands.

"Sorry about that," Allison greeted him, joining him at the window. "Taggart still hasn't tranked them?"

"Oh, I'd give him about three minutes," Nathan predicted with a glance at his watch. "What's going on?"

"Larry tried to spike Fargo's coffee with compound R-736," Allison sighed.

"The truth serum?" Nathan asked, raising an eyebrow. "Just what we need, him spilling his secret desires for Sarah Michelle Gellar."

"Well, before I could do anything to stop it, they were going at each other. I told Taggart to tranquilize them if it got physical. They've needed to get this out of their systems for ages, so I figured I'd let them."

"Could have just locked them in one of the safety labs, the ones with the padded walls," Nathan suggested, trading grins with Allison.

"What do you need?" she asked, crossing back to her desk.

"Actually I just came by to donate my dollar and send a piece of coal," Nathan replied. Allison had decided that since Nathan was playing Krampus, the adults of Eureka could donate a dollar to get a tag for a coal carving and send it to someone else. She had limited Chris Dactylos, recently returned to Eureka, to a handful of basic shapes for the carvings, but suspected they would be far more elaborate than she could anticipate. The money was going to help the Eureka hospital after the cellular regeneration machine in the ER had been 'improved' resulting in a small fire and the loss of a few limbs.

She accepted the dollar he slid across her desk, frowning suspiciously. "Am I getting a lump of coal?" she asked.

"No, I figured I'd send on to Jack," he admitted, settling into a chair and crossing his long legs to project a more casual attitude than he felt.

"I thought you two were getting along better," she complained, pulling out a coal tag and handing it to him before she realized what he'd said. She squinted at him, a little suspicious. "Jack, huh?"

He scowled. "It's just a thank you for putting me through this hell," he grumbled.

Allison crossed her arms. "Maybe it shouldn't be," she suggested, giving him a pointed look.

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked, taking a pen from her desk.

"Nathan, I'd have to be blind not to see you're interested in Carter," she told him, a hint of a smile touching her lips. "It's good, I think. You've been pining for me for the past six months, and he's been pining for Callie since she left. It'd be nice to see you both happy again."

"We'll see," Nathan replied, shrugging. "Just because I'm starting to feel something…"

"Oh," Allison's eyes widened. "I didn't realize this was serious enough for your self doubt to kick in. You're really falling for him."

Nathan sat back, raising an eyebrow. "You get all that from me pointing out that you don't know how he feels?"

"I know he'd be crazy not to take a chance on you," Allison reassured him.

"Which is why you shot me down," Nathan returned dryly, pen poised over the paper. He looked up, seeing the sad expression flicker across his ex-wife's face. "So, you going to help me not make a mess of this like I usually do?" he offered, seeing her face clear at his olive branch offering.

-

"Hey, Henry," Jack called to the man who was half hidden behind a metal welding mask. His torch was being applied to what appeared to some sort of metal and possibly robotic mistletoe. "What is that?" he asked, completely distracted from his original mission.

"This is Eureka's answer to the problem with the randomness of mistletoe," Henry replied. "People offer massive bribes every year to get me to program the thing to make sure it finds them and their sweetheart. Personally, I think it would be easier just to pull him or her under a stationary bit of shrubbery, but that wouldn't get me the really good holiday chocolates, would it?"

Henry grinned up at Jack, spotting the look of mixed interest and horror on his friend's face. "Relax, I haven't taken any bribes to send the thing after you," Henry reassured him. "Though a couple of offers were very hard to turn down."

"Huh," Jack managed, shaking his head as he absorbed the concept. "So if I wanted to send this after someone…"

"It would depend on who," Henry replied. "Some of them I'll give you for free, if there's a good enough shock value involved."

Jack couldn't help grinning in reply. "Oh, I think you'll like this one."

-

Nathan tugged on his horns again, frowning despite the fact that Vince had actually managed a rather tasteful costume for him. The dark brown horns were small, nestled in his curls, looking like a natural extension rather than some bizarre radioactivity run amuck. His black suit and tie suited him perfectly well, as did the red lined black cloak. He fumbled with the ties on the cloak as Jack stepped out of Vince's office, wig and beard in place with elaborate red velvet robes lined with some sort of white fluff that Nathan was relatively certain wasn't an animal product, knowing Vince. The long hair was threaded with holly. The sheriff lit up, seeing Nathan's outfit.

"How come you get to look more handsome than usual while I have the world's longest white beard?" Jack complained, stepping close to help Nathan secure his cloak around his throat.

"Face it, Jack, in a battle of looks, I'm going to win," Nathan teased, noticing that Jack's eyes jerked up abruptly at hearing Nathan say his name. "Tall, dark, and handsome trumps blond and blue eyed every time."

Nathan waited for the usual smart-alec response, but found Jack still staring at him intently. He drew in a deep breath, the moment hanging on the air between them. Nathan started to look away, but Jack reached out, letting his hand fall just before it touched the other man's face. Nathan started to move forward, to close the gap between them, and jumped when Vince swept into the back room without warning.

"Ready to go?" he asked, seeming oblivious to the fact that he'd just interrupted something.

"Sure," Jack replied, turning and looking around for the oversized sack of gifts for the children. Nathan likewise picked up his satchel of coal for the adults. He shifted it, suddenly feeling much more certain about the little coal rose that was somewhere in the sack.

-

Jack fingered the ridges of the coal rose, reading the enigmatic tag again. His beard and wig had landed on the table, along with the sweater that was supposed to be covering Zoë's bare back, the little scrap of fabric and strings she referred to as a shirt not meeting Jack's definition of a shirt. He sighed, scanning the room blankly, not sure what to make of the tag or who it had come from. "And you have become all feeling, for me1," he read again, folding the tag in half as Nathan joined him, sitting next to him without waiting for an invitation.

"What has you so fascinated?" Nathan asked curiously, reaching out a hand for the rose. Jack handed it over, watching Nathan closely. The other man's face remained impassive, ruining Jack's theory that he had sent the rose. "Well, Sheriff, seems like you're the center of someone's universe."

"Helpful," Jack took the rose back, scanning the fragment of poetry again. "Any idea on whose?"

Nathan couldn't stop the wicked grin that crossed his face. "Well, I did catch Fargo doing some research on love poetry."

"I think that explains the rather large coal gun over with Jo," Jack replied, pointing to the sculpture. "Speaking of my deputy, did she manage to bribe Henry into programming the mistletoe into coming after you?"

"I don't know," Nathan replied, carefully removing his horns from his head. "Henry said he did program it to catch me once, but I'm starting to think he was trying to make me paranoid. The mistletoe has avoided me so far."

"Huh," Jack replied, hoping his face was as innocent as he was aiming for. "If he wasn't bluffing, I'm sure you'll find out soon. Maybe Taggart."

"I think Taggart was the one responsible for making it look that mashed up," Nathan replied, enjoying the banter.

"Nah, that would be Jo," Jack replied. "I saw her try to club the thing into submission earlier."

"Because Taggart sent it after her," Nathan clarified. "Better her than me, I suppose."

Jack snorted. "Maybe it is Jo sending the mistletoe after you. I seem to remember a dream where you were speaking Spanish…"

Nathan groaned, opening his mouth to protest when the mechanical mistletoe swooped in over his head, hovering ominously. "Oh geez…" he started, but then looked over at Jack, who was staring at him. He swallowed, suddenly unable to find any words. Jack leaned close, gently pressing his lips to Nathan's in a soft, chaste kiss.

"Merry Christmas," Jack whispered, looking half ill with anticipation, his cheeks flushing a bright enough red to blend in with his robes. Nathan touched his lips, smiling slightly.

"I didn't expect you to make the first move," Nathan said, and if it was possible, Jack blushed even harder. He reached over, knotting his hand in the soft robes as he pulled Jack to him. His lips met Jack's briefly before the kiss descended into a flurry of tongues and teeth and trying to force themselves closer to each other.

Nathan was vaguely aware of the sounds dropping off around them as he kissed Jack, and heard Vince remark happily, "I guess Dr. Stark did get what he wanted for Christmas from Santa." He ignored it, his fingers sliding through Jack's soft hair as he gentled the kiss, an easy slide of lips.

Zoë's scandalized, "Dad!" finally broke the kiss, and Nathan tried not to chuckle at the sight of Zoë, hands on hips, glaring at them. "I'm never getting a date again in this town," she complained, pointing to a rather pale and shocked Lucas. Nathan watched her closely, concerned for her reaction. "Just keep it to a minimum," she pleaded, shaking her head.

Jack looked back at Nathan, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Does this mean you don't mind that I bribed Henry?" he asked, grinning.

"Depends," Nathan replied. "How much did it cost you?"

"Nothing," Henry replied for Jack, having walked over, two glasses of eggnog in hand. He pressed them into their hands, grinning. "This one I did pro-bono. Anything to see my two best friends happy."

Jack grinned, picking up the long white wig with holly and placing it on Henry's head. "Well, I think you've just earned the costume of Santa for next year," he said, his eyes conveying his thanks.

"No good deed goes unpunished, eh?" Henry replied, grinning and squeezing Nathan's arm lightly before moving away to dance with Allison.

Nathan slid his fingers through Jack's, watching as the party kicked back into full swing around them. "You have become all feeling, for me," he confessed, and Jack paused, glancing back at the coal rose.

"Thank god," he murmured, pressing a kiss to Nathan's lips. "I don't know if I could handle being the center of anyone else's universe."

"Don't flatter yourself, Sheriff," Nathan returned dryly, enjoying the surprise that flitted over the other man's face. "No one other than me is crazy enough to want you that much."

Jack laughed, leaning in to kiss Nathan again, and Zoë breezed through, pushing them apart. "Nu uh, seriously, get a room," she protested, and Jack took the opportunity to press her sweater into her hands.

"Wanna see if we can scar her for life?" Nathan asked, nodding to the dance floor. Jack nodded, his pupils swallowing up his eyes as Nathan tugged him down to the space cleared out in the café for dancing. Jack glanced back up at Zoë, surprised to see a soft look on her face.

"I think she may be warming to the idea," Jack murmured, letting his lips brush against Nathan's ear.

"Good," was the only reply he received before Nathan's lips closed over his. "Merry Christmas," Nathan added between kisses.

"It is now," Jack agreed.

1 From the poem, "In the Same Space" by Constantine P. Cavafry

1


End file.
